Why I don't like my birthday

I enjoy getting older for pivotal moments, like getting my license, being able to casually come and go when I please from strip clubs, and for getting into bars so the world can see my awe inspiring dance moves, but other than that, I wish I did not get older. On Thursday I turn 22 and I fear I am just going to feel unaccomplished. I look at those stupid tween fuckers making millions of dollars and I will be without job security but plus a $50,000 piece of paper that says I am higher educated. goodie gum drops.

Why I Hate the Weather and It Hates Me Back

This weekend I went 4.5 hours out of my way to go to my lake cabin on the first cold and rainy weekend of the summer. With all of the advances in technology I always wondered two things - why have video cell phones (where you can live chat with the person you are talking to, like Skype) NOT been invented or popularized yet, and why have we not figured out a way to control the weather? I think the world, (or just the U.S.A. - lets be serious, I don't care about other countries) should invest in a big umbrella and tanning light so it would only rain in April and it would always be warm in Summer. I would be willing to donate a dollar and this button I found in my car for the cause.

Why Blogs Suck

I understand the irony about writing about why blogs suck on a blog and...times are tough, I would have made a newsletter but I don't have the funds to invest in a printing press. The reason blogs suck-or excuse me-maybe why blogs are ineffective, is because about 7 people (and by people I mean creepers who in no way are important in your actual life, just web 2.0 life) read your posts unless you post about superficial things like celebrities with their crotches hanging out. I think it might be more beneficial to hire a carrier pigeon and have him/her (I'm certainly not sexist) fly to the 7 people I want to read my thoughts about random topics that are in no way expert opinions and give them this exact note on a very small letter.