How to coup with life ... and death on Facebook?

I noticed in 2008 a surge of people writing on my brother's friend, John's facebook wall. Obviously intrigued by the website hulabalo I checked in, only to find comments of regret, loss, and sadness right above "untag me in that pic!" comments. I felt horrible for not only hearing about the loss through facebook creepin, but also for my brother who refuses to get facebook. After calling him across the midwest to console him he asked how I knew if I was over 350 miles away. "Um, well" Caught facebook stalking a death? It felt wrong. I felt horrible. I lied and said mom called me.

In 2009 tragedy sturck me much deeper in my chest when I found out my friend of 8 years had passed away. Another friend had called me because she knew I was all alone, with no one around from my past to inform me. Moments after my shock another friend of mine called.

"Hey, um, this is going to sound weird but... Did anyone die from Greendale?" my friend said.

"Yeah. you're going to want to sit down." After telling her the worst, I asked "How did you know someone had died, but not who?"

"I was on facebook."

With basically everyone in the world who matters (except my brother who claims he will "have too many girls after him" if all of his information is out there) on password protected facebook, what is the protocol for death? What is socially acceptable? If I was to die tomorrow, my legacy would be me and a friend waving like 8 year old girls next to a 7 foot tall Coca-cola bear at the Coke museum in Atlanta. It makes you wonder if there should be some sort of automatic inactivity alert that deletes a facebook account. No one wants to lose a loved one so young, that's unnatural and tough enough, but to reminisce about so and so, and still be able to talk to them via wall posts - It doesn't seem satisfying to me, just sad.