Why I don't like my birthday

I enjoy getting older for pivotal moments, like getting my license, being able to casually come and go when I please from strip clubs, and for getting into bars so the world can see my awe inspiring dance moves, but other than that, I wish I did not get older. On Thursday I turn 22 and I fear I am just going to feel unaccomplished. I look at those stupid tween fuckers making millions of dollars and I will be without job security but plus a $50,000 piece of paper that says I am higher educated. goodie gum drops.