How to coup with life ... and death on Facebook?

I noticed in 2008 a surge of people writing on my brother's friend, John's facebook wall. Obviously intrigued by the website hulabalo I checked in, only to find comments of regret, loss, and sadness right above "untag me in that pic!" comments. I felt horrible for not only hearing about the loss through facebook creepin, but also for my brother who refuses to get facebook. After calling him across the midwest to console him he asked how I knew if I was over 350 miles away. "Um, well" Caught facebook stalking a death? It felt wrong. I felt horrible. I lied and said mom called me.

In 2009 tragedy sturck me much deeper in my chest when I found out my friend of 8 years had passed away. Another friend had called me because she knew I was all alone, with no one around from my past to inform me. Moments after my shock another friend of mine called.

"Hey, um, this is going to sound weird but... Did anyone die from Greendale?" my friend said.

"Yeah. you're going to want to sit down." After telling her the worst, I asked "How did you know someone had died, but not who?"

"I was on facebook."

With basically everyone in the world who matters (except my brother who claims he will "have too many girls after him" if all of his information is out there) on password protected facebook, what is the protocol for death? What is socially acceptable? If I was to die tomorrow, my legacy would be me and a friend waving like 8 year old girls next to a 7 foot tall Coca-cola bear at the Coke museum in Atlanta. It makes you wonder if there should be some sort of automatic inactivity alert that deletes a facebook account. No one wants to lose a loved one so young, that's unnatural and tough enough, but to reminisce about so and so, and still be able to talk to them via wall posts - It doesn't seem satisfying to me, just sad.

The Age of the Idiot, the Death of the TV Star

I'm starting to wonder if reality TV is actually a good thing. I'm sure writers are having a hissy fit for not being invited to the reality TV money making machine, and trees are relieved that we don't have to murder as many of them to write story lines down, however watching a 'regular person' is a hindrance as well as a blessing. New forms of trashy tards are popping up all over my TV and yet the self esteem boost i get while watching won't let me turn away. I fear the mystique and glamore associated with entertainment stars is vanishing as a result of professional strippers, waiters and men who traded in brains for calve muscles. There is no way a Sally Field archetype would or could be prevalent today, when one could look up photos on any gossip site of her cooter drunk (ew, when she was younger) on the sidewalk in seconds. Instead of glamore and class we settle for low life trash. My only question is why are so many people eager to embrace the reality star appeal? It's like 6 degrees of reality TV. I can think of my brother's friend's baby mama who was on a reality show, can you? Does that make you happy, or sad?

Why I don't like my birthday

I enjoy getting older for pivotal moments, like getting my license, being able to casually come and go when I please from strip clubs, and for getting into bars so the world can see my awe inspiring dance moves, but other than that, I wish I did not get older. On Thursday I turn 22 and I fear I am just going to feel unaccomplished. I look at those stupid tween fuckers making millions of dollars and I will be without job security but plus a $50,000 piece of paper that says I am higher educated. goodie gum drops.

Why I Hate the Weather and It Hates Me Back

This weekend I went 4.5 hours out of my way to go to my lake cabin on the first cold and rainy weekend of the summer. With all of the advances in technology I always wondered two things - why have video cell phones (where you can live chat with the person you are talking to, like Skype) NOT been invented or popularized yet, and why have we not figured out a way to control the weather? I think the world, (or just the U.S.A. - lets be serious, I don't care about other countries) should invest in a big umbrella and tanning light so it would only rain in April and it would always be warm in Summer. I would be willing to donate a dollar and this button I found in my car for the cause.

Why Blogs Suck

I understand the irony about writing about why blogs suck on a blog and...times are tough, I would have made a newsletter but I don't have the funds to invest in a printing press. The reason blogs suck-or excuse me-maybe why blogs are ineffective, is because about 7 people (and by people I mean creepers who in no way are important in your actual life, just web 2.0 life) read your posts unless you post about superficial things like celebrities with their crotches hanging out. I think it might be more beneficial to hire a carrier pigeon and have him/her (I'm certainly not sexist) fly to the 7 people I want to read my thoughts about random topics that are in no way expert opinions and give them this exact note on a very small letter.