Animals Sense Uncomfortableness

My old roommate came over today. She brought her now cat to see my cat. We bought them together when they were kittens. We had a horrible falling out, names were called, lies were told, and in the end it seems that not only did I lose my ability to trust people, but I lost someone I thought was a lifer, I lost a confidant, I lost my best friend. We ripped the sister kittens apart and went our separate ways.

I recently got a new job in a new city. I called her up and said 'it's now or never, do you want to get those lights you forgot?' When she came over today we exchanged awkward pleasantries as she put her cat cage down and opened it up. We watched as my cat became aware of a fox in the hen house. Her cat leaped right out, not a caution in the air. My cat hissed and hissed, annoyed at the intruder. Her cat tried to play, unaware of the uncomfortableness. My cat wasn't having it. I couldn't help but thing of the symbolism. Just because two people are forced back into the same close quarters does not mean they have to get along. Just because I can forgive doesn't mean I can forget.

Recommendations

Top 3 fictional books you must read before you die
1. The Collected Works of Amy Hempel
2. The Lovely Bones - Alice Selbold
3. Misery - Stephen King (duh)

Top 3 books I currently want to read
1. The End of Alice - AM Homes
2. The Girl in the Fammable Skirt - Aimee Bender
3. Vironika Decides to Die - Paulo Coelho

Top 3 movies you must watch before you die
1. Revolutionary Road
2. Edward Scissorhands
3. Breakfast At Tiffany's

Top 3 movies I currently want to watch
1. The Hurt Locker
2. Shutter Island
3. Taxi Driver

Get to work. I'll do the same.

Advice from someone who's doesn't have the best track record

Hello loyal followers. I am going to serious it up for a bit, but only for a bit

2010 has not been especially kind to me, but I am very optimistic that I can change it around and still make 2010 the start of 'The Decade When Heidi Changed The World'. I am forever the idealist. There is always going to be someone that you can choose to measure your own accomplishments on, but I urge you to look from within instead of relying on others for reassurance. There is always going to be someone rooting for you to fail. They are just insecure. Look inside yourself and don't be afraid to ask others for help instead of letting them win. That's what friends are for, besides laughter.

If you measure your successes in material possessions, you will never have enough. Don't be greedy, don't be stingy. Nobody ever complained about generosity. Enjoy your profession and measure your success in personal pride, not dollar signs. With dedication comes personal success, so don't take short cuts unless you're prepared to backtrack if there's a backlash.

Be brave, be confident, be your own idol. There is room in the world for more dreamers and believers. Don't be scared to jump, because even if you fall, you'll learn to dust yourself off and help yourself up.

Peace & Love

Heidi

Bananas for Bologna

I have about a gazillion facebook friends currently, all of whom I share a close personal bond with. However, I would guess roughly 90% of them do not know my real last name. The reason being because of a media ethics class I took at the University of Minnesota that scared the bejesus out of me. That class taught me that employers not only look at your facebook profile, but they judge you on it, and will without warning fire you for it. From then on Heidi Weitzer ceased to exist, and thus my alter ego, Heidi Bologna was born.

Now when someone learns that my real last name is indeed not a processed meat I tend to get 1 of 2 responses. 1 - Oh geez, that sucks, Bologna is such a cool last name! and 2 - Wha?? Why Bologna?

Why not my friend? Bologna by name is hilarious. If I was ever to meet a Steven Marble-Jack I would have to marry him immediately to complete the sandwich. Bologna the noun isn't so bad either. "Oh man, that's Bologna" really transports me back to the 1930's right along side with the words hoowee and dag nabbit. Bologna the word is just crazy - silent G, A sounds like I or sometimes Y - anarchy. But last and most important, Bologna is not Weitzer. When I get a job I hope it will be because of my amazing talent for wit (and modesty,) and the inhuman ability to rattle off numerous pop culture and writing facts in chronological order, not because I have about 45+ pictures of my kitten, or over 350 wall to wall posts with a Ms. Deanna Radjenovich.

So the last name stays, because aren't we all just a little bit safer with bologna in our lives?

How to coup with life ... and death on Facebook?

I noticed in 2008 a surge of people writing on my brother's friend, John's facebook wall. Obviously intrigued by the website hulabalo I checked in, only to find comments of regret, loss, and sadness right above "untag me in that pic!" comments. I felt horrible for not only hearing about the loss through facebook creepin, but also for my brother who refuses to get facebook. After calling him across the midwest to console him he asked how I knew if I was over 350 miles away. "Um, well" Caught facebook stalking a death? It felt wrong. I felt horrible. I lied and said mom called me.

In 2009 tragedy sturck me much deeper in my chest when I found out my friend of 8 years had passed away. Another friend had called me because she knew I was all alone, with no one around from my past to inform me. Moments after my shock another friend of mine called.

"Hey, um, this is going to sound weird but... Did anyone die from Greendale?" my friend said.

"Yeah. you're going to want to sit down." After telling her the worst, I asked "How did you know someone had died, but not who?"

"I was on facebook."

With basically everyone in the world who matters (except my brother who claims he will "have too many girls after him" if all of his information is out there) on password protected facebook, what is the protocol for death? What is socially acceptable? If I was to die tomorrow, my legacy would be me and a friend waving like 8 year old girls next to a 7 foot tall Coca-cola bear at the Coke museum in Atlanta. It makes you wonder if there should be some sort of automatic inactivity alert that deletes a facebook account. No one wants to lose a loved one so young, that's unnatural and tough enough, but to reminisce about so and so, and still be able to talk to them via wall posts - It doesn't seem satisfying to me, just sad.

The Age of the Idiot, the Death of the TV Star

I'm starting to wonder if reality TV is actually a good thing. I'm sure writers are having a hissy fit for not being invited to the reality TV money making machine, and trees are relieved that we don't have to murder as many of them to write story lines down, however watching a 'regular person' is a hindrance as well as a blessing. New forms of trashy tards are popping up all over my TV and yet the self esteem boost i get while watching won't let me turn away. I fear the mystique and glamore associated with entertainment stars is vanishing as a result of professional strippers, waiters and men who traded in brains for calve muscles. There is no way a Sally Field archetype would or could be prevalent today, when one could look up photos on any gossip site of her cooter drunk (ew, when she was younger) on the sidewalk in seconds. Instead of glamore and class we settle for low life trash. My only question is why are so many people eager to embrace the reality star appeal? It's like 6 degrees of reality TV. I can think of my brother's friend's baby mama who was on a reality show, can you? Does that make you happy, or sad?

Why I don't like my birthday

I enjoy getting older for pivotal moments, like getting my license, being able to casually come and go when I please from strip clubs, and for getting into bars so the world can see my awe inspiring dance moves, but other than that, I wish I did not get older. On Thursday I turn 22 and I fear I am just going to feel unaccomplished. I look at those stupid tween fuckers making millions of dollars and I will be without job security but plus a $50,000 piece of paper that says I am higher educated. goodie gum drops.